Aria Speaks

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For Women: Is Sex just Sex?

I know that in the 21st century women are happy to say that they are mostly no different than men.  Feminists might say there is no difference and thus our rights should be no different.  I agree with that when it comes to creating bills and laws.  For instance, I think that a woman and a man should be paid equal wages for equal work.  I believe that women should be able to govern their own bodies as men do.  However, I wonder if men and women are equal on one front?  Can women and men have no-strings attached sex in the same way?

I’m not sure.  Clearly, Sex in the City would lead me to believe they can but in all of their relationships save Samantha’s didn’t they wind up falling for some man they were sleeping with?  In truth, weren’t Carrie and Charlotte always looking for love?  It was only Miranda and Samantha that didn’t think they would find it or didn’t want it respectively.  However, even not thinking you’ll find it is not the same as not wanting it.  Thus, you could argue that 75% of the characters were indeed looking for love.  Therefore, sex was not just sex…in the city.

I point this out not because I want to write a critique on the intricacies of Sex in the City but more because as 21st century women, I feel we have started to delude ourselves in a fundamental way.  We truly want to believe that sex is just sex and that men and women can have sex with no strings.  Conventional wisdom tells us that men can.  Not all men of course.  Some men love relationships and crave the companionship of one partner.  However, statistically men do tend to have more partners than women and do not have the same emotional attachments as women have through intercourse.  And on the flip side, I’m sure there is a minority of women who are Samantha’s.  Sex is just sex and the idea of a relationship is anathema to their sex drive. 

Yet, I would argue that most women are either flat out looking for love when they get into these sexual relationships or begin to fall in love or in what they perceive as love during the course of a sexual relationship.  The truth is, there is something truly intimate about taking a man into your body.  How could it not be?  In fact, from study I have found that the pheromones released during this time causes the woman to feel more attracted and connected to her partner.  And that’s simply the science of it.

Therefore, as women, when we say we are equal to a man in this arena aren’t we just fooling ourselves?  Isn’t it just wishful thinking?  We want to be equal to a man when it comes to sex.  It would make things easier.  However, maybe this is more true.  We want to be able to have no-string attached affairs like men because the thought of you caring when he doesn’t is just too painful

Filed under women sex affairs no-strings attached Sex in the City women's equality

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