Darn it! Got to start over again. Doing this is pretty humbling. It shows me how I let the gift I have been given take a back seat to other things. I don’t prioritize writing so I forget to do it. It also shows that I lack follow through. Not that I don’t know that but everytime I have to start at Day 1 again, I have to face it. I must say, as much as that sort of sucks, it also is good for me. Enjoying it. Hope I do better as a 34 year-old….Woohoo another year on Earth! I am so blessed. Thirty-three was pretty awesome I must say. Hope 34 is even better. :)
Seahawks suck! LOL. Okay, something more productive. I learned some new things today while trying to produce a mini-report at work. It felt good to take in new information and to be challenged even though it was stressful.
Today I also learned that being patient and learning acceptance is not a one day thing. It’s not a weekend jaunt. For me, learning to be patient has been extremely hard, long and nerve-wracking. And learning to accept? I just got another lesson on that yesterday (which by the weekend, probably won’t stick)!
Truthfully, what God has for you can not be manipulated, pushed, pulled, sped up or slowed down. It just is. It comes in God’s time, not our own. Which I would like to say sucks (like the Seahawks) but I have spent enough time with God to know that His time really is best. It’s just fact. Sometimes, you are not allowed to move forward or back, left or right. You just have to stand. Stand in the knowledge and the faith that God keeps pouring into you.And even though I say stand, I know that somedays all I can do is fall on my face in faith.
"Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair." I don’t think anyone’s has - no matter what their station in life. This life is not easy and the reward is not given to the weak. No matter how much at times I just want to throw in the towel, it looks like God knows better. He’s not giving up on me. He’s not letting me give up on me. And for that…
Being talented is a burden of sorts. Some of the most talented people on Earth are also cursed with the biggest demons. I guess that’s why so many great singers die young or have tragic endings. It’s like the spirit in them is so bright that it can’t fit in this world for long. It shines over all of us and then before we can truly appreciate it - it’s gone. God bless those he’s sent to be a beacon of his love and a testament to his beauty. R.I.P. to those who we’ve lost along the way.
I played pool tonight. My friends had a great Sims interaction.
Thought of the Day
What is the point of doing the right thing if it doesn’t pay off? I guess it’s still the right thing. There should nee comfort in that. Unfortunately like everyone else, I’m completely extrinsically motivated at times. If it’s not going to make a difference shouldn’t I be able to do whatever I want?
I love my father. He’s not a good father but he has spent time trying to form and maintain a bond with me. However, due to his flaws and fears, it has been difficult for him - for both of us. But I want to give thanks today for him. He tells me he loves me. He gives just because he wants me to have it. He thinks of me. Ours is not a great relationship and I can’t say that it will ever be. But somewhere down the line, he made a choice to actively try. I appreciate that.
And for all of my father’s other children who have not had a relationship with him or who he has neglected to keep up with, try to love him anyway. Not because he’s a great father, but because you’re here and you can learn something even from an absentee father. I oftentimes feel very conflicted about my dad and I’m not sure I’ll ever be happy with our relationship or the man he is. But I am glad I’ve had chances to get to know him and I’m glad he’s in my life.
I am afraid of Thanksgiving. More accurately, I am afraid of what Thanksgiving tells us about both the dominant culture and much of the alleged counterculture.
Here’s what I think it tells us: As a society, the United States is intellectually dishonest, politically irresponsible, and morally bankrupt. This is a society in which even progressive people routinely allow national and family traditions to trump fundamental human decency. It’s a society in which, in the privileged sectors, getting along and not causing trouble are often valued above honesty and accountability. Though it’s painful to consider, it’s possible that such a society is beyond redemption. Such a consideration becomes frightening when we recognize that all this goes on in the most affluent and militarily powerful country in the history of the world, but a country that is falling apart — an empire in decline.
Darn it. I didn’t write yesterday even after I reminded myself. I was supposed to take a moment to jot down some of my thoughts. Sucks. Blame it on Houston and the beautiful family I have here. Thanks for the laughs, fam.
Thought of the Day
Lord, help me walk in acceptance. Let your will be done.
There was a time in our relationship where I was brave and you were unafraid. How fragile the time. Swept away in a twinkling of an eye. Before we let what we thought the other wanted, be more important than what the other wanted. Before we let our insecurities in and began to pretend. Drawing caricatures of ourselves hoping to please one another. Scared to be real once we began to feel for one another. Knowing the price of vulnerability. Having paid before. Memories of mistakes laced with feelings of inadequacy and the misplaced guilt of what others did. Shouldering the guilt of others’ choices.
You and I. So similar. More than we probably realized. Turning into the skeletal versions of ourselves. Hoping bones are more palatable than flesh. Because the flesh carries flaws. Scarred from previous encounters, at times missing its shine. The luster scratched but not fully lost.
We trotted out our doppelgangers for one another when we never really had to be anything other than ourselves. Because ourselves was always enough. I miss when we were true to each other. Free moments gone on the breeze. The only way to find those people again, is in our memories.
This is less of a superhero comic and more of a tribute. I remember at one point during the revolution, people would use statistics of attacks on women to discredit political movements – and Egyptians – at large. This keeps happening, consistently, both locally and internationally. People will abuse statistics as they see fit, but they will always ignore the women at the base of those statistics. So, politics and superpowers aside, here is my attempt at a tribute to real-life superheroes.
here is a thing this is a thing look at this thing
The women of the Arab Spring are the true heroes. They were and are on the front line for every protest and uprising and when they are targeted and specifically victimized for their activism and power, they don’t back down. They start another front, battle the use of assault and gendered violence to try and silence women specifically. We spend so much time talking over women of color, especially Middle Eastern, Arab, and Muslim women, but we never ask them what they want. Well, their actions speak for them. These are not women afraid of a fight, these are not women begging for white knights to save them. They slog through vitriol and threats, through lack of resources, and come out on top again and again and again.