At work I was involved in some discussions about two high school teachers - women - who were arrested for allegedly having sex with a 16 year old boy. He had bragged to his friends and that is how everything was discovered. What I found disturbing is how lackadaisical people were about this boy’s situation. The few men that I spoke to seemed to cheer on the situation, saying he had it good, he should have just kept his mouth closed. I was even told that I wouldn’t understand because I am a woman.
What angers me so much about this is what it says about us as a society. Why should boys be any less deserving of our protection than girls? Aren’t boys just as likely to be taken advantage of as girls? So it’s okay for women to molest boys because… but not for men to molest girls? But we wouldn’t even use that term for our boy children, right? They’re just being men.
So to those who would say, that is just the way society is. That is how it has been, that’s how it’s going to be. I would say bull. Society is not this thing to be blamed when you say ignorant crap. We in fact are society. Our viewpoints, the things we share with co-workers and friends are what we believe or what we pretend to believe and they make this omnipresent “society” whom we like to blame for life’s ills. No, we are to blame.
We are to blame for putting our girls sexuality on a pedestal but prostituting our boys. We would give boys a box of condoms and a handshake for being taken advantage of by older women, but would hide our girls away for life and kill the men who took advantage of them. But this is not me saying that I think girls should then be more free. This is not my feminist manifesto although I am a feminist. This is the teacher in me that says I believe our children - whether male or female - are deserving of our protections and when we fail to do so, we fail our kids.
Besides the fact that the only reason some men are cheering the situation while women shake their heads and laugh is that it was a boy having sex with two women - some male fantasy that we accept. But if it is truly okay, then it should be okay no matter the players. Would it have been okay if both of the teachers were males? Would it have been okay if the boy was black and the women were white or vice versa? Probably not.
When men think of their daughters being molested by two men they don’t give a handshake and a box of condoms. But I guess that is wrong. It would have to be a girl being molested by two women. Then it would be a hot threesome.
It’s not okay. It is not okay. It is not okay. Please think about what you’re saying and what that truly means - not just between girls and boys but specifically with boys. How do we raise our boys? What are our expectations of them? How do we protect them? Don’t they deserve that?